Initially, I wondered if I was the wrong audience for the book and not really the «Nice Guy» he is working with, but then I realized that any of these «Nice Guys» who actually need help aren’t going to get it here. This is a book written by a Therapist, not a Macho-Womanizing-Player. Dr. Robert Glover has studied what he dubs «The Nice Guy» syndrome for years. Nice Guys are males who have mastered living in Cognitive Dissonance.

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He defines a Nice Guy, as any man or boy who has ever called himself that, is exactly what the term means when a girl says it in explaining why she is friends with a guy, but not attracted to him. It is the term referring to a neighbor who is willing to do any favor but who never seems to have his own affairs in order. It is the guy who always tries to please, but who people never seem to want to hang around anyway, or if they do, it’s only because he tries to do everything for everyone. He is an easy target for jokes because he smiles and takes it, never thinking of defending himself because he is afraid of conflict, thinking that if he just plays along, he will be liked.

After the 50s, fathers spent much more time away from home, working, and the home became the domain of the woman. Teachers in recent years have been almost exclusively female. Thus, a generation has grown up with no significant male role models and a strong disposition to winning the approval of female authority figures.

All of the above beliefs keep you safe, and they keep you in the nursery where everything is cozy and safe. #1 To successfully date, get laid, and have great relationships, you must be willing to challenge yourself and leave your comfort zone. You can see beauty straight away, and it fades over time. Other personality traits last forever, and you probably don’t want to be around someone who doesn’t treat others well. Dr. Glover asserts that being an asshole is just as bad a dysfunction as the nice guy.

Adventure, honor, courage, dignity; these are the qualities that I seek to aspire to , and in this sad book I found them not. There’s not one quality in Glover’s list that isn’t a definition of any self-actualized human, regardless of chromosomes. We’d all get along a lot better if our culture stopped enforcing a gender binary that says, unblock «Men are all of these things,» rather than, «Good people are all of these.» Take Dating Essentials for Men with you everywhere you go. Dr. Glover has recorded over 200 Dating Essentials for Men Q&A Podcasts on every area of dating. Now, you can take your game to the next level while working out at the gym or driving in your car.

An Interview with Dr. Robert Glover

Additional details about the events, people, and places in your book, with Wikipedia integration. Features only possible in digital – start reading right away, carry your library with you, adjust the font, create shareable notes and highlights, and more. The basics to effective breaking up are addressed relative to timelines on how long you’ve been dating. RWW – This is misery territory, a train wreck waiting to happen. Traits include deceit, drama, insecurity, jealousy, vindictive anger, victim mentality, and addictions, to name a few. Bad Daters and Nice Guys generally wind up with the RWWs for a variety of reasons.

Even if the relationship starts going south, he does everything he can to keep it together because he doesn’t want to be lonely again and start over dating. If she is willing, they typically start having sex after just a few dates. I’m going to highlight three beneficial insights I found in this read. The exciting thing here is that they pretty much apply to both men and women.

When society became urbanized this took men away from the home and left boys to be raised by their mothers. With Teachers also being primarily women, boys were growing up having to learn about how to be men from women. This of course led to some internalized distortions of what that meant. This of course creates an endless list of identification problems for boys when they come of age.

Without doubt he is the best in the education of dating and the subject of the male species. «Your mind has been telling you unsubstantiated lies about yourself, women, and the world for most of your life.» It doesn’t matter if you want to hook up, create a loving long-term relationship , get married and have kids, or create a harem filled with “friends with benefits,” Dating Essentials for Men will teach you how. • Send text messages that create instant attraction and arousal. • Identify your goals for dating – and achieve them.

The author defines a bunch of terms like ‘Bad Dater’ and then inconsistently refers to it throughout the book through acronyms. So you’ll come across sentences filled with acronyms like BD and RGW . I was hoping on a bit more given the author’s best seller. Maybe the target audience is way below my age range and I just don’t find acronyms cool enough.

Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. To his surprise, he quickly found that getting women to talk to him, give him their numbers, date him, and have sex with him was nowhere nearly as difficult as he had thought. When women started approaching him, propositioning him for sex, and getting naked on first dates, he often wondered what planet he had landed on. Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the «Nice Guy Syndrome.» He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications. He is also the author of Dating Essentials for Men and is the director of TPI University. Nice Guy behaviors are well defined in the book, which also offers some great explanations on how Nice Guys become who they are.

Reviews for Summary of Dr. Robert A. Glover’s Dating Essentials for Men

Meanwhile, I didn’t break through my giving to get habit until my 20s. I was very talented at fixing cars and could easily change an engine. I repaired many cars for gals thinking they would date me for saving them thousands of dollars in repairs.

If you’ve ever been called a Nice Guy or want to improve your dating life, this episode is for you. We dive into common traits of Nice Guys, why they aren’t actually nice, how they try to buy love, how to stop being a Nice Guy, and how to improve your romantic relationships. Dating Essentials for Men by Dr. Robert Glover, the author of the groundbreaking No More Mr. Nice Guy, is the «un-pickup» guide to dating success. Realize it’s not necessary to uncover every experience that makes you feel unsafe or bad. But some understanding of where a life script originated is helpful in changing the script.